To look at the above picture of Ian you probably wouldn't guess that such a cute little boy would be a problem child that I can't figure out. I am just not sure what is going on inside that cute little head of his. And I know that most of the problem lies with me and my impatience in dealing with him. He can throw a tantrum like none other. I should have anticipated this because he was the one baby that wouldn't cry himself to sleep. I don't have any problem letting my kids cry themselves to sleep but that boy would go for hours and not stop. He will get something stuck in his head and he will not let it go. Tonight may be a turning point but we will have to see.
Every night we have the same routine for bedtime. After family prayer the boys get a drink and off to bed. However, Ian will come out numerous times for more water. We have really tried to cut this back and we have to 2 drinks. But lately the talking and playing after lights out has gotten out of hand and will go on for about an hour. During this time he is coming out for drinks, because talking and playing makes him thirsty. So we are fed up. I will leave out the yelling part, but I decided to have a chat with him. So I sat there and tried to reason with him for a good 10 minutes. I know their ability for reason is not quite developed but I at least expect him to listen. His only response after us talking was that he was thirsty. He couldn't even tell me what I had said. So after a little more discussion he made me a promise.
I would get him a drink if he promised that this will never happen again. From now on it is drink, bed and sleep. No more drinks and no temper tantrum. What do you think? Will he keep his promise? I am not holding my breath but I think it might not be as severe. I will take any suggestions or criticisms on how to handle the situation. I sometimes think that I am missing something and maybe there is a real problem here, but he behaves at school. So he obviously knows what good behavior and bad behavior.Which I would rather deal with this at home then have the teachers dealing with this. I even tried to get him to tell me what he does when he doesn't get his way at school and why he doesn't freak out. No answer. I do love this kid and he is the first one with a please and thank you. But this Jekyll and Hyde bit is frustrating.
Beach Day
3 months ago
4 comments:
I was having the same thoughts yesterday. Cooper can tests my patience, but if anyone else is watching him or asks him to do something he is so polite and helpful without missing a beat. He is even great with Tyrel. So it makes me think I am doing something right and he had to have learned how to behave well from me.But they probably don't act like that with us mom's because they know what buttons to push, other people they don't so they just go along with it. Anyways those were my thoughts yesterday! Sorry doesn't help your problem.
Huh...I bet you would NEVER believe that I have a very similar problem with Caroline!!!! She is in charge of the water - my girls share a full bed and she goes to get the water and brings a cup to bed to put on their bedside table. If She forgets to get the water, then they get no water. I remind them that every night. I mean, it is not like they are camels needing to fill up their humps! They get a half full glass, each take a sip, and leave almost all of it there until tomorrow. (or the next day or the next - there were 3 cups there yesterday.) Last night I was so tired of it I told them to drink the "old water." They gagged and threw a fit so last night I let her go and get a cup of water. I said this is the LAST time this happens. Brush your teeth, get your water, have family prayer, (we have family prayer in their room together) and then get in bed. They are not to come out.
My other sleeper problem - Lindsay has a harder time falling asleep (like her daddy) and will get a book to read after Caroline is asleep - she goes out quickly. She said she wasn't falling asleep with her book and wanted to watch TV with me. I said to go and get "one of the boring big fat church books" off the shelf and read that. Now, she goes to sleep every night reading "The Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley."
Kate is perfection. She practically jumps into her crib when I take her bed, grabs her pacifier, nuzzles her face in her Happy Blankie and just looks up at me as to say "Thank you for letting me sleep for the next 12 hours! You rock, Mama! See you tomorrow around 8am!"
Aren't these kiddos fun?
I really have no experience with this, so this is really just a thought for your generation.
I think the children of today are more visual then audio learners and you really should focus on that.
Maybe even sit down with them and write and illustrate a book. Ian could be the author. You as mother do the illustrations. Use your camera, have him pose for all of the stages of going to bed. Then have him write the description to go with his pictures. Make it into a book. Have him count up the number of steps there are and give it that title. You get the picture, pun intended. Love, Mom
I know this is only one example of communication struggles with Ian. You know I am little help there. But as for the bedtime drinking, Ressa comes and gets a partly filled water bottle and takes it to their room and her and Lauren take a drink. They leave it on the dresser just in case they get thirsty again, which never happens.
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